

How many secrets can one keep from the most important person to them? I have that person that I tell everything to. Almost everything. I screwed up. Yet again. I'm really tired of screwing up. I hate winter and I hate the holidays and I just want to fast forward to new years so I can focus on some resolutions. I feel like I'm ruining the only thing important to me. Can we honestly get mad over something we had no control over? What's the point? It was stupid and apologizing won't help. I'm not too fond of myself at the moment. Instead of taking steps forward feels like I'm just walking backwards. Is this 2008 again? Sure feels like it. I have no perception of time/date anymore. I'm tired as hell. I can't tell the difference between being awake or sleeping. I need a plane ticket to Toronto please and a time machine. What do I want for Christmas? I want to wake up and accept everything that has happened, move on and rock a smile on my face for 2010. Might be possible. Although things don't work out for people like me. No amount of clothes will make me satisfied at the moment. I need to finally start fixing things and actually finding solutions. Years of bottling it all up don't exactly make me really qualified or experience to do so. Can't even talk to my bestfriend about anything. I try and talk but the words aren't coming out. Fear? maybe. Maybe it's just how things are now. I'm just straight up miserable. I love you.
hatefuck - the bravery















